Coping with bereavement

What is bereavement and grief?

Bereavement is what a person goes through when someone close to them passes away. It’s the state of having suffered a loss. The person who has lost someone is said to be bereaved.

When someone close to you passes away, you go through a normal process called grieving. Grieving is normal after any form of loss, but is most powerful when someone we love dies.

Grief is a very individual thing and there is no right or wrong way to react. But there are some common feelings people experience including anger, shock, guilt, sadness and depression, emptiness and acceptance.

Grieving involves many different emotions, actions, and expressions, all of which help the person come to terms with the loss of a loved one. But remember, grief doesn’t look the same for everyone and every loss is different.

The grieving process

Some people say grief comes in different stages, but many people often feel that they go back and forth and not really moving forward. This can be a way of coping, and over time you will start to feel less overwhelmed.

How long does grief last?

Grieving is a very individual thing and how long people grieve for varies. It may go on for months or years but the intensity of it won’t always be so strong. It is also perfectly normal for strong emotions to surface on anniversaries such as the first birthday or Christmas after the death of a loved one. You need to find your own way to deal with this in the right way for you.

Coping techniques

After experiencing a bereavement it’s important that you don’t force yourself to feel better and you give yourself time to come to terms with your loss. The first step forward is to acknowledge you are grieving and allow yourself to feel the way you do. Here are some suggestions which may help:

• Allow yourself time for your thoughts and feelings, both positive and negative
• Talk to someone you trust about how you are feeling
• Don’t be afraid to cry. It is an important part of grief and will give you a release
• Take care of yourself – eat well, get plenty of rest and some exercise
• Write down how you are feeling
• Some people find it helps to go to a support group and talk to others who have been through a similar thing
• Be patient with yourself

Bereavement support at Leukaemia Care

Leukaemia Care provides a Grief Chat service which enables you to talk to a trained bereavement counsellor at the touch of a button. Use the Grief Chat service here.

We have a dedicated bereavement and in memory hub offering you and your loved ones advice and support, visit the hub here.

If you feel as though you need more support in coping with your bereavement, visit your GP to talk through your support options. We’ve also listed other organisations that may be able to help you cope with the loss of a loved one, manage grief and be a source of practical information.